I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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Try it Yourself »

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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