There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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