Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Jersey Shore.

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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