Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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