What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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kkkk

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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