What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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The doctor told a man he had aids. He told his friends he had AIDS so his friends wouldn't sleep with his wife after he died.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

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THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops