A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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A black person dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

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Men's rights

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Why didn't the black man understand an anti-joke? Because like any other member of the human race, he expected a typical joke structure to occur, starting with a misleading introduction which then using surrealism or misguidance trails into a humorous punchline.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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