What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar. Splash.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops