Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

What's green and red? A frog in a blender

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

woman's rights

Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

ugvvvvvv

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

Knock Knock Who's there

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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