Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whos on the right track? lady gaga

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops