Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops