Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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