What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

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Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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