How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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The Morman Religion.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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Q why was John bullied A Becuase he told kids that bullying was a bad and serious problem to get them to stop bullying jimmy unfortunately Jimmy killed himself because he was bullied to much and didn't want to live.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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