Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops