Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops