- Anti Joke

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

guess what? bannanas

Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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