Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops