- Anti Joke

My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

What do you call the white woman who bought kool-aid for a black man. a good friend.

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

YOU

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? Pulls out finger gun Screams BOOM!

My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

What do you call the white woman who bought kool-aid for a black man. a good friend.

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

YOU

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

What do you call the white woman who bought kool-aid for a black man. a good friend.

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

YOU

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? Pulls out finger gun Screams BOOM!