Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops