A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

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This is not a joke.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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I can't remember the punchline for this joke so I recommend you stop reading this...why are you still reading this whats wrong with you!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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