why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops