a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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