nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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Sir, your wife is dead

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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