what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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I like school Said no one ever.

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What do you call an black man on the moon. An astronaut you racist bastard

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

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If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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