- Anti Joke

How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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speak now or forever hold your pee

Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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