Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

Death by kayak

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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