What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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NEVER

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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