Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

a man checks his mypsace

Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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