A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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what are you your not a human? are you an other?

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

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Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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