"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why Did the throw up He was sick

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops