A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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Penis

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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c======3

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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