A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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Why couldn't Suzie ride the swings? She got hit by a refrigerator.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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