How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

You know whats funny? Women's rights

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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