What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

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Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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