What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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YOOO MOMMA LIKE A BIG MAC FAT JUICE AND ONLY WORTH A BUCK!!!!

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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