Q: are you gay? A: maybe

Your girlfriend.

What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

Can anyone Lenin money?

How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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