"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

The moment where Perfect Cell returns declaring he has become "even more perfect" There is no level above perfect :P But sure Cell, strive to improve further on your "perfection", oh he is dead nevermind. Still my favorite character, narcissist, with a touch of class, and a sadistic personality, what more can you wish for?

Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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