A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are best friends and go shopping together.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An Irishman walked out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -24

who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops