How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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* anti-punchline

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Your mom.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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