What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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