A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

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A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops