A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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