knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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What stops a train? A missile

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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Amanda Knox walks home free.

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops