Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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