What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Ehh

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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I was just thinking of how much i laughed at the challenger launch.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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