Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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why did the black guy die? cancer

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops