A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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first

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

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Kevin and Ramin

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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The GOV and the WHO?

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops