What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Your face is hilarious.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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