Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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