How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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