whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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This anti-joke below is hilarious.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Tom and Ralph are In a verbal scuffle. Tom: your adopted ralf! Ralph: yes! Now I have lesser chance of high blood pressure!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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