Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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