How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

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why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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