Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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Neither have I

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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