A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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9/11

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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