Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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